What If Factor

I have been totally out of my comfort zone! Now before ppl think I'm getting down and dirty with this topic, really it's totally innocent. It's just that I have a very secure comfort zone, and I have ventured out of it recently. I guess you can say, testing the waters. I have made a few changes in some things, and some I just have a hard time seeing any benefit in making a permanent change. One change was putting myself out there (not in a dirty way) but just trying to be okay with being out there. I know sounds like I'm a loner or something. But really, I have been in a rut and I tried to venture out of that rut. And it back fired!! Did I have fun exploring the outer boundaries of my comfort zone, for the most part yes. But the out come was a bit disappointing. So I've asked myself would I do it again, maybe, but will do it differently.

Anyway, what am i getting at you may ask. Well I can't really divulge too much information, for that is not my style. But I tried talking and tried to see if I could do something, and unfortunately I don't think it will be possible. This is something that I have struggled with for some time, years actually, this is nothing new. It has been that "what if" kind of thing. I have too many opinions, and too many reasons why it can never happen (call them hang-ups/deal breakers.) Sometimes, the what if factor is not strong enough for further exploration. It is always nice to have the what if around, but when push comes to shove it just isn't something that I want...Do I know what I want? NO, but I do know I don't want more than what I have with the what if factor...it is only good as a what if factor and nothing more.
I hope for the best for my what if factor, and that the what if factor can be happy in what is happening. The "what's happening factor." and I maintain focus on my "what's happening factor" So back to my drawing board!!!! No more distractions on the what if factor.

*sounds a bit nuts, I'm aware of this, but discretion is very important*